Field Engineering Humor

(Field) Engineer Humor

Anybody married to a (field) engineer will understand these! (Apologies to the original jokester for inserting "field" throughout the following)

Gas Production

Useful tools for the Field Engineer.

Texas Chili Contest

Nothing is more competitive in Texas than football on Friday nights. Nothing, except a chili contest, that is.

The Correct Definition

What is the correct meaning?

Cheech and Chong at the FEDC

Remember the old Cheech and Chong routine? "It's Dave, man, let me in."

Dennis Ledbetter's Next Album

Album dedicated to turbine engineers (and their wives, girlfriends or both).

A Real Poker Player

Field Engineers often become good card players. They can read your "hand" by the look on your face. They learn to bluff, when necessary. Ask Robin Ashley (FEP-1980)

SEX ON THE NIGHT SHIFT

One field engineer's brush with sexual temptation while working the night shift.

Why we teach Rigging 101

And you think you had a bad day?

Ladder Safety 101 (and some other issues)

Field engineers sometimes have to lift and move things. Fork Lift trucks and ladders are sometimes employed. Of course, we are sometimes expected to work in hazardous (that is, less than ideal environments). Here are a few examples of what FEP grads should NOT do. Don't laugh!

Doctors Like Field Engineers Best!

Why doctors love field Engineers.

Testing at the FEP

Charlie Pond (FEP Instructor, 1980-85) recollections about testing.

Sex in the Field

Close Encounters of the Sexual Kind!

A Lesson in Japanese

You Nippon-o-philes will get a kick out of this.

Who the hell designed this thing?

GETSCO and I&SE projects often went this way! Robin Ashley (FEP-1980) came up with this latest version of the same old story!

Cindy Crawford

TA & Cindy marooned....

Special Bolting

Joe Byrd (FEP-1978) found these in a properitary master parts list. He's sure that every field engineer has used these kind of fasteners on some job in their careers.

The Blame Game!

Ever notice how no good deed goes unpunished?

Scrotum Scrub

Field engineering is a dirty business, not unlike that of an auto mechanic. Maybe this product will help you "scrub up" after a day on the turbine deck. Rob Sigond (FEP-1978) highly recommends the product.

Would Bill Lynn (FEP-1968) ever jump from an airlplane like this?

Bill Lynn (FEP-1968) was famous for his sky-diving skills. He was a free-fall expert with hundreds of jumps. Wonder if he ever jumped this way?

Women: How they Function!

Field engineers can figure out how turbines and generators work. Women? That's different!

How women and men shower!

Ever notice how different men and women are? Of course, every field engineer has been perplexed by the gender differences. Take showering, for instance.

Using an ATM at the Bank

Ever notice the difference between men and women and how they each use a drive-up ATM machine?

Engineers have the knack!

Those who choose engineering as a major and especially those who choose a career in field work, will appreciate this little ditty!

The Story of the Middle Finger

Everyone knows what the giving the finger is all about. However, did you ever know the origin of the gesture. Read on

The Retro-Encabulator by Rockwell Automation

This product replaces the Turbo-Encabulator invented in the 1940s by GE. Unless guys working for The General infringed on upon a patented product and claimed it for their own. It seems someone at GE put a spec sheet on the product, as if it really existed. I recall a comment about this so-called product which claimed "there is no known orth effect." What ever that means. Bob Balsbaugh (FEP-1978) did a Google search and found the truth of the origin of the Turbo-Encabulator. Go to www.floobydust.com/turbo-encabulator/ for the real truth. Those GE guys should be ashamed if they infringed upon someone else's idea. -- Dave Lucier -- Dave Lucier

Ever work in West Virginia? Intermarriage is commonplace.

You likely heard this song or met some of these characters if you ever worked in West Virginia or some counties in Kentucky.

The Many Jobs of Phil Dupin

Phil Dupin (FEP - mid 70s) submitted this chuckle. Knowing Phil, he probably did have this many jobs.

What is a Field Engineer?

Submitted by Robin Ashley

Going to Europe? No South America!

Field engineeers don't know where you are going until you arrive. They don't know how long the job will be until they have left. And they don't know when they'll be back home until they've been there for a week!

Signs of the Times (Seen by Field Engineers in their travels)

Field engineers see a lot of signs in their travels. Check these out!

More Funny Signs!

Funny signs seen by field engineers in their travels.

Rules For Old Folks

Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 40, WAY over 40 or hovering near 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. According to Al Shuman (FEP-1971)

Old Field Engineer Shopping for Jewelry

An old field engineer shops for jewelry for a vivacious young girlfriend.

The Very First Field Engineer

Who invented the wheel and what was his first "field" application?

The Jet Powered Beer Cooler

This is a toy that every field engineer should have. It rivals the stills you built on GETSCO assignments in the Middle East.

Is your beer temperature correct?

Determining if the temperature is correct is vital to field engineers. We need to have our beer cooled to just the RIGHT temperature before we consume it. Dips and chips will not taste right if the beer is off by as much as .1 degrees F.

Pick your Mother-in-Law as carefully as you pick your wife!

What might happen if you married a gal from Venezuela. Suppose she went off to Caracas for some additional schooling and you had to hire a woman to cook and clean your house. Should this happen, we don't suggest you invite your mother-in-law over for dinner.

Observations (field engineers will appreciate)

Words of wisdom from some keen observers.

Proof of Global Warming!

Do you believe in the phenomenon known as "global warming?" Perhaps you've seen Al Gore's movie calle "An Inconvenient Truth." This photo should convince you of its veracity.

Low Level Alarm: No Donuts!

Thought you might like to see this. 'Tis pretty serious. Harold Parker Director - Engineering HPC Technical Services 500 Tallevast Road - Suite 101 Sarasota FL 34243 USA Phone: 941-747-7733, ext. 120 Fax: 941-746-5374 Cell: 941-730-9882 www.hpcnet.com

Engineers Making Choices - so says Sara

Sometimes engineers are forced to make choices.

Crazy Life in Venezuela

Hay que disfrutar la vida loca!

Dave Smith's Bachelor Song

Created by Charlie Pond and Peter Runyon, staff instructors at the FEDC, prior to Dave Smith's marriage to Denise.

Three Clever Field Engineers

Three field engineers and three MBA accountants are traveling to a conference.

Field Engineers who become Golfers

Field engineers sometimes retire. Often they take up a game called GOLF. That's FLOG spelled backwards. If they've never FLOGGED a ball before, they might be inclined to take lessons. Watch this video and it might save you some money it the game also known as "pasture pool."

Dilbert will become an Engineer!

Field engineers have been known to have "the knack." The ability to fix all things mechanical or electrical. Sort of a McGyver complex.

Field Engineers from Texas are known to BRAG!

Ever met a field engineer from Texas who wasn't bragging? He must have been a mute!

Hungry in Germany or is it Hungary?

Field Engineers have appetites, but this is outrageous!

So that's what a wrench is used for!

Mark Cohen teaches an Arab to use a wrench! Of course, he is wearing a OSHA-certified hard hat and safety glasses. We want to know if Mark taught him "right-tighty, lefty-loosey" when it comes to the uses of the wrench?

New and Improved Japanese Wrench

The Japanese take an American invention (the adjustable wrench) and make improvements.

Old Timer's Bar - Drinks for a Dime!

Ever get turned down for a raise from your service manager? Wonder why?

Today's the Day (when my wife met my girlfriend)

A field engineer wonders: "What would happen if my wife actually met my girlfriend." Dennis Ledbetter, the original Turbine Cowboy, might have written this song.

A Field Engineer has "designs" for Christmas

What if a field engineer was asked to plan and design a Christmas Party? This might be the result.

GE Sexual Harassment Training

GE came out with a sexual harassment training during the 1950s. decades ahead of other multi-national companies. Perhaps you have had to sit through this video.

No translation required

You don't need to speak Spanish to understand this brief video.

Field Engineering Invention

Field engineers often have too much time on their hands. Working in the desert camps, for instance, GETSCO field engineers always build a still to make sedeke or perhaps to brew some beer. Once done, they have nothing else to do but drink their products and think of another thing to invent. Thus, we have a fetch toy for their adopted dogs.

This Italian Knows What He Wants

Perhaps you've met this Italian gentleman in your travels.