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(Field) Engineer Humor

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Anybody married to a (field) engineer will understand these! (Apologies to the original jokester for inserting "field" throughout the following)
What is the definition of a field engineer?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
When does a person decide to become a field engineer?
When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
What do field engineers use for birth control?
Their personalities.
How can you tell an extroverted field engineer?
When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Why did the field engineers cross the road?
Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
How do you drive an field engineer completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.
What is the difference between mechanical (field) engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.

You might be an (field) engineer if ...

  • Choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your RAM is a moral dilemma.
  • You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
  • In college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
  • The sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.
  • At an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
  • You bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
  • You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
  • You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
  • You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
  • You sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the special effects.
  • You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
  • You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
  • You look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.
  • You see a good design and still have to change it.
  • You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
  • You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
  • You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
  • You window shop at Radio Shack
  • Your laptop computer costs more than your car
  • Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
  • You've already calculated how much you make per second.
  • You've tried to repair a $5 radio.

Comprehending (field) engineers:

The graduate with a philosophy degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that burger?"

Comprehending (field) engineers:

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the field engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Created by admin
Last modified Thursday, Dec-23-2004 04:16 PM

Mom had it right, no doubt!

Posted by dlucier at Friday, Dec-16-2005 10:37 AM
As my mom used to say: "If you don't amount to anything, at least you can serve as a bad example."

I've always tried to live up to her expectations.

Dave Lucier (FEP-1968)

Short Men

Posted by dlucier at Tuesday, Apr-18-2006 06:20 AM
When short men cast long shadows, it's a sure sign the sun is setting! - Unknown Writer

Mad Magazine First Edition

Posted by dlucier at Monday, Oct-02-2006 08:58 AM
This appeared in the premier edition of Mad Magazine.

What does this mean? "It takes a lot of homing to make a pigeon toed."
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