You Can't Make up this Stuff!

The Dumbest Thing I Ever Did With GETSCO!

David fue muy estupido!

World Travel at its BEST

Some of Larry Patchett's experiences

Take this plane to La Fria!

My own private jet and no one there to enjoy it with me!

Lost in the Translation? Not!

Dave Lucier headed up a team of engineers installing two frame 5 gas turbines in Vietnam during the conflict. He tells this story about communications on the job.

Judged to be 10% wrong.

Endure 30 days in jail or leave the country. You decide.

GETSCO Hombres in Venezuela!

Dave, I found this picture burried in a bottom drawer. It was taken at th e Guanta site, Puerto la Cruz, Venezuela, in the summer of 1982 during the Anglo/Argentine Falklands war. The banner should be self explanatory, for those gringos that speak "la lengua." For others, it is protest for the English and USA to "get out of America" during the Falklands War. How do we Americans get out of America? The long banner was somehow removed Brent Holmes from a site in Maturin, Venezuela. Left to right in photo are GETCO TA's: Neil Adamson, Brent Holmes, Tom Illingsworth, Dave Tregar, Aldo Ceresa, Harvey Braswell, Bill Hartman (an E&E guy)and a very proud manager... Enver Shefik). I don’t remember who took the photo, but I do remember that, standing behind the photographer, most of the Venezuelan workers were assembled watching what we were doing. --Neil Adamson (FEP-1978)

Life in the Middle East

Osama, you mama! You want polarizing lenses?

You might want to change your flight plans!

This is no way to fly!

Employee Outhouses

In Japan they are called benjos. Here they are outhouses.

Field Engineering Services

Who says GE field engineering rates are too high?

Having a bad day? Have a cookie.

Recently, in Washington State, a 161,000 volt transformer exploded with flames shooting 50 feet out of the top. See photo. To my surprise the fire protection water spays were only there to save the transformer case and not put out the flames. A neighbor living next to the plant showed up after the fire was extinguished. She said, "I could tell you were having a really bad day and I thought this might help." She unveiled a plate of chocolate chip cookies. How great is that? Charlie Pond (FEP-1978)

Terrorists are not always smart!

Sometimes the rebels are no smarter than the government they are trying to replace. There is one frame 7 gas turbine in the Suralco plant, an affiliate of Alcoa-USA. Dave Lucier and others have worked there. The remainder of the power comes from a large hydro dam.

Nail in the foot? Get a tetnus shot!

Dave Williamson tells a story (that nobody could make up)

You know you are a senior field engineer if . . .

Credit Al Shuman for these gems (made pertinent to OLDER field engineers)

Sometimes you just know to say the right thing!

Field engineers have been known to put their foot in their mouths. Sometimes, at the right time, an engineer will say the right thing... to his wife! When he does, it is PRICELESS!

Why Field Engineers need Post-it notes when they meet women!

Post-it notes are handy things to have so you don't forget important things like... a women's name.

Man versus Woman!

Men and women are different, in case you haven't noticed.

New Drugs for Women

Field Engineers meet a lot of women in their travels. Sometimes they even marry one of them (or more). What they don't know is that some of these babes are (or should be) on drugs. Read on!

Man versus Automobile

Where else but in Schenectady? Who is faster, man or machine?

FEP's Do Dumb Things!

Here are a few examples of dumb things that FEP's have done during the the training program in Schenectady. If you know of others, please add to comments section.

Field Engineers Can Live Anywhere They Want!

Field Engineers Can Live Anywhere They Want (as long as they can get to an airport in less than two hours).

A Terrible Female Horse of the Night!

When Texans try to speak Spanish it is called "Span-glish."

Free the Saratoga Five!

Paul Nagle (FEP-1980) finally fesses up to his involvement in public drunkeness while on the FEP!

Great Predictions

Some predictions come true; others do not. And some are so far "off the mark" that you can't believe they were ever uttered.

Guide to Field Engineer's Tools

Field engineers love their tools. However, not everyone knows how to use tools properly. Here is a guide.

Don't Tell Your Wife!

Things field engineers will never say to their wives (or spouses).

Critical Path Method (CPM) For Your Next Sex Move

Field engineers learn about CPM's in job planning. Certain events must precede others. Call it the "cart and horse" syndrome, if you will. Same is true in sexual relations with your partner. There are no shortcuts to sexual success! Hint: If the shoe fits...

Today's the Day

What do you think would happen if your wife met your girlfriend (assuming they are not the same person, of course). LOL

Employee Sensitivity Training

Most large companies nowadays insist their employees go through sensitivity training. They want their people to recognize what is sexual harassment and what is normal, respectful behavior in the interaction of employees. This doesn't always workout as intended

Going to Jacksonvile? Where's that?

You never know where you're going until you get there.

Learning English

Learning a foreign language can be difficult. How about those immigrants who come to America and try to learn the American version of English? Could there be a language more difficult (yet important) to learn? It is the international business language, by default. Surely there must be an easier language to learn!

English as a Second Language

Some people find jobs as English as a Second Language (ESL) teachers. How do you explain these quirky things to an immigrant trying to learn our strange language?

Tenjooberrymuds

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language!? Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

Signs you'd like to hang at GE

Don't you wish you had the balls to post these signs at GE?

You might be an Upstate New Yorker if...

Jeff Foxworthy might know a "red neck" if he saw one but would he know somebody from Upstate New York (nay a Schenectadian or Albanian)?

Pilot's Announcement

Do you feel safe when you fly? How about arming the pilots? Good Idea or not?

Spouses vs. Field Engineers

Field engineers and their spouses often disagree. Here are a few examples.

Red-neck Field Engineers Are Smooth Talkers!

A Red-neck Field Engineer’s pick-up lines were overheard in a bar.

Understanding Field Engineers

You have to admit field engineers are interesting and practical. Perhaps they act a little bit weird at times, but think what their end products ...well, usually are!

It's Hard to Explain Hell!

Ever been on "The Field Assignment from Hell?" Perhaps it was in some desert country, a country with jungles or one that is colder than a witch's tit. Hell can be explained.

Women, as Explained by a GE Field Engineer

Have you ever tried to figure out (and indeed explain) women? It is said, there are three kinds of logic: digital, analog and female. Two of the three make sense. Which two?

What do you mean by that?

Male field engineers and their spouses, girlfriends (or both) have different meanings for words. Here are a few expamples...

Have a kid with drug problem?

"This is the kind of "drug" problem we can endorse!" - Rob Sigond (FEP-1978)

Wives Must Learn Essential Spanish!

Sometimes field engineers get long-term assingments in places like Venezuela and they take their wives along. In order to better communicate with nannies from Latin America, these wives often request Spanish lessons. Of course, GE is only happy to accomdate the ladies in order to make the tansition to life in Latin America more "like home in the USA." You can't make up this stuff, for sure.

When in Rome, do as ......

Some expenses require an explanation.

Rockwell Automation's Retroencabulator

Before GE produced the turboencabulator, Rockwell came out with this "have to have" product. Check it out.

Even Field Engineers Get Old

Questions and Answers from an AARP for Aging Field Engineers

Talk about Getting Screwed!

This story was told by a good client of PAL Engineering. You can't make up stuff like this, hence it goes into this folder.

All GE Employees who have been fired or layed off

Notice to all GE employees.

Big Alice

As reported recently in the Tribune, Keyspan Energy is seeking to expand its Ravenswood power plant — a place that QConfidential has found to have a colorful history. The plant is known to local residents as "Big Alice," a nickname derived from the Alliss Chalmers manufacturing company that built the generator at the power plant. When it was installed in 1960, it was the largest electric generator in the world — capable of producing 1,000 megawatts of power. During the NYC blackout of 1965, it was a power failure at the western Queens plant that plunged the City into darkness and prompted the Daily News to publish "Big Alice Goes Bust" as its front page headline. The power plant, considered a landmark by many Queens commuters because of the three unmistakable orange and white striped smokestacks, has even figured prominently into Hollywood cinema. "Conspiracy Theory," a 1997 thriller starring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts featured the plant. Ironically, Roberts plays a dedicated Justice Department attorney working in New York who’s name is . . . you guessed it, Alice. Coincidence? We’ll let you be the judge of that."

GE Field Rates in the 1950s

Back in the 1950s, GE field service rates were much more reasonable. 8 bucks and hour! Check this invoice out! Tim Ralston, FEP-1980, was sent this GE gem by Fred Easton.

Harold, the cocky engineer.

This falls into the category: be careful for what you wish, you just might get it.

Phone Message   Bldg 85, 2008-02-18 08:45:00 - 2008-02-18 08:45:00

I worked in building 85, the Apparatus Services Training Center and Charlie Pond called Hugh Holloway and I took the message (because I was the Secretary). Then a few hours later he called again and said this is Charlie Pond again. So I left Hugh a message that Charlie Pondagain called. I know you engineer types will not get this and think its funny - but if you read this and notice there is no space between Pond and again - it is funny because I thought this was a different person not the same person.

Some Field Engineers can remember...

If you are old enough to remember all these people and events, you are an aging Turbine Cowpoke.

Frequent Flyer Field Engineers Should Read This!

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

Field Engineers Always Travel First Class

If only we GE field engineers got to upgrade to these accomodations!

When Bad Things Happen to Good Turbines

Sometimes mistakes are made, or bad things happen because of operator error or design flaws. Take a look.

Words of Wisdom to Aging Field Engineers

As we age, and even consider retiring (heaven forbid that we actually do retire!) we Turbine Cowboys often need advice. Sometimes we turn to the wisdom of doctors.

The Top 10 Truths Abouit Life

Truth is often stranger than fiction. Also, it is usually truer than the absolute. Appologies to David Letterman

Love Making Tips For Senior Field Engineers

Face it, you're getting old. Field engineers get old too.

Lonesome Turbine Cowboy - Retired

Retirement can be a lonesome time for Turbine Cowboys. Listen to this ballad that "might" have been recorded by Dennis Ledbetter, had it been available at the time.

Low Speed Balance - You Must Be Kidding

In Colombia, South America they solved a problem: how to drive the rotor for the balance machine. Take a look.

An Italian Field Engineer from Nuovo Pignone!

Sometimes it is best to stay home and not travel. This field engineer can't get no respect!

Useful Field Fixes by a GE Field Engineer

Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands, especially if you are a GETSCO field engineer working in some god-forsaken remote country. This is what one FEP graduate came up with when he needed to fix something on site.

Field Engineers' Conversion Table

You scientific types will especially appreciate this one; it is pretty heavy scientific stuff... converting units:

Mostly, The Truth

Some great writers have weighed in on the important topics of the day.